The Vitamin

[molluscsandmonsters]

Sometimes I think about that one tumblr post about The Vitamin, where one day your doctor discovers that you've been missing The Vitamin your whole life, and then you start taking The Vitamin and you are suddenly the smartest, strongest person ever because all this time it was your lack of Vitamin holding you back. And that really resonates with me.

But almost every time it shows up on my dash, it's accompanied by the followup reply about everyone you know going "Oh my god, you didn't have The Vitamin? You poor, brave soul!", and sometimes that quote about being found in a cave with a broken ankle and now you are the most beautiful pitiable admirable creature in the world because you were discovered in the cave with the broken ankle. To be clear, I'm not judging anyone who would like that, but thinking of it makes me feel like a little creature has coiled up and died in my chest.

What I want is to start taking The Vitamin and have everyone forget, as quickly as possible, that I was ever the sad pathetic lump I was before doctors figured out I was missing The Vitamin. I want to be so competent and smart and reliable and The Best At Doing Everything All The Time that my new existence blots out my past like the sun, just shining directly into peoples' heads and burning out all knowledge of me before The Vitamin. I want to move to a city where nobody knew me before The Vitamin and nobody will ever know that I was once Vitamin deficient. To them I will only be That Incredible Person Who Is So Helpful All The Time. No pity. Absolutely no "wow, you were so brave!" No acknowledgement at all, at any point, ever, of the Vitaminless Era, unless you are a very close friend and I trust you not to be weird about it, and even then only in private conversations away from all the new people who have no idea I need Vitamin supplements to function.