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I'm so tired all the time, but I can never fucking sleep until I crash like a jet plane on fire. This has been a problem to some extent for years, but it's a lot worse now. So it makes perfect sense that my housemates didn't want to wake me up for dinner planning. But because it's one of the few things we reliably do together and all three of us spend most of the day hiding in our rooms alone, my Garbage Brain has decided that they hate me and wanted to avoid interacting with me.
The worst thing about this is, I'm autistic, and my natural inclination is actually to take things at face value, but years of everyone around me not taking things at face value has made me paranoid about secret coded messages (that no one will explain because I'm supposed to just know) hidden in mundane social interactions. By reading too much into things, I'm doing exactly what I want everyone to stop doing. It doesn't help that I spent my entire childhood having my mom tell me over and over that the only reason anyone interacts with me at all is to be polite, and that the nicest thing I can do for anyone is to interact with them as little as possible.
The worst thing about this is, I'm autistic, and my natural inclination is actually to take things at face value, but years of everyone around me not taking things at face value has made me paranoid about secret coded messages (that no one will explain because I'm supposed to just know) hidden in mundane social interactions. By reading too much into things, I'm doing exactly what I want everyone to stop doing. It doesn't help that I spent my entire childhood having my mom tell me over and over that the only reason anyone interacts with me at all is to be polite, and that the nicest thing I can do for anyone is to interact with them as little as possible.
